1.The Laughing Gnome
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
I was walking down the High Street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (Hello)
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (Oaah..)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)
Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office
(Gnome Office)
Yes
(Hahahahaha)
CHORUS
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me'
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me'
Said the laughing Gnome
Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine
(Burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
(Haven't you got a light boy?)
'Here, where do you come from?'
(Gnome-man's land, hahihihi)
'Oh, really?'
In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He'd bought him along to sing me a song
Right, let's hear it
Here, what's that clicking noise?
(That's Fred, he's a 'metrognome', haha)
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me'
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me'
(Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha)
'Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?'
(No, we're gnomads)
'Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school?
you look like a rolling gnome.'
(No, not at the London School of Ecognomics)
Now they're staying up the chimney
And we're living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
It's the-er (what?)
It's the Gnome service of course
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me'
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me
(Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me'
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
'I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me')
(One more time, yeah)
2.Rubber Band
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Rubber Band
There's a rubber band that plays tunes out of tune
In the library garden Sunday afternoon
While a little chappie waves a golden wand
Rubber Band
In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong
My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long
And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes
Dear Rubber Band, you're playing my tune out of tune, oh
Rubber Band
Won't you play a haunting theme again to me
While I eat my scones and drink my cup of tea
The sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon
Oh, play that theme
Rubber Band
How I wish that I could join your Rubber Band
We could play in lively parks throughout the land
And one Sunday afternoon, I'd find my love
Rubber Band,
In the '14-'18 war I went to sea
Thought my Sunday love was waiting home for me
And now she's married to the leader of the band, oh
(spoken)
Oh sob... I hope you break your baton
3.Love You Till Tuesday
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Just look through your window, look who sits outside
Little me is waiting, standing through the night
When you walk out through your door I'll wave my flag and shout
Ohh, beautiful baby
My burning desire started on Sunday
Give me your heart and I'll love you till Tuesday
Da da da dum (x4)
Who's that hiding in the apple tree, clinging to a branch
Don't be afraid it's only me, hoping for a little romance
If you lie beneath my shade, I'll keep you nice and cool
Ohh, beautiful baby
I was very lonely till I met you on Sunday
My passion's never-ending and I'll love you till Tuesday
Da da da dum (x7)
Let the wind blow through your hair, be nice to the big blue sea
Don't be afraid of the man in the moon, because it's only me
I shall always watch you until my love runs dry
Ohh, beautiful baby
My heart's aflame, I'll love you till Tuesday
My head's in a whirl and I'll love you till Tuesday
Love, love, love, love you till Tuesday
Love, love, love, love you till Tuesday
Da da da dum (x11)
Well, I might stretch it till Wednesday
4.Maid Of Bond Street
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
This girl is made of lipstick
Powder and paint
Sees the pictures of herself
Every magazine on every shelf
This girl is maid of Bond Street
Hailing cabs, lunches with executives
Gleaming teeth sip aperitifs
This girl is a lonely girl
Takes the train from Paddington to Oxford Circus
Buys the Daily News
But passengers don't smile at her, don't smile at her
This girl is made of loneliness
A broken heart
For the boy that she once knew
Doesn't want to know her any more
And this girl is a lonely girl
Every thing she wants is hers
But she can't make it with the boy she really wants to be with
All the time, to love, all the time
This boy is made of envy
Jealousy
He doesn't have a limousine
Really wants to be a star himself
This girl, her world is made of flashlights and films
Her cares are scraps on the cutting room floor
And maids of Bond Street drive round in chauffered cars
Maids of Bond Street picture clothes, eyes of stars
Maids of Bond Street shouldn't have worldly cares
Maids of Bond Street shouldn't have love affairs
5.Sell Me A Coat
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
La la la la la la, la la la la la la la
A winter's day, a bitter snowflake on my face
My summer girl takes little backward steps away
Jack Frost took her hand and left me, Jack Frost ain't so cool
CHORUS
Sell me a coat with buttons of silver
Sell me a coat that's red or gold
Sell me a coat with little patch pockets
Sell me a coat 'cause I feel cold
And when she smiles, the ice forgets to melt away
Not like before, her smile was warming yesterday
See the trees like silver candy, feel my icy hand
CHORUS
See my eyes, my window pane
See my tears like gentle rain
That's the memory of a summer day
CHORUS (twice)
La la la la la la (repeat)
6.In the Heat of the Morning
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
The blazing sunset in your eyes will tantalize
Every man who looks your way
I watched them sink before your gaze
Señorita sway
Dance with me before their frozen eyes
I'm so much in love
Like a little soldier catching butterflies
CHORUS
No man loved like I love you
Wouldn't you like to love me too
In the heat of the morning
In the shadow I'll clip your wings
And I'll tell you I love you
In the heat of the morning
I'll tie a knot in rainbow's end, organise the breeze
Light my candle from the sun
I'll give you daylight for a friend
I'll do all of these
I'll prove that it can be done, oh, I'm so much in love
Like the ragged boy who races with the wind
CHORUS
In the heat of the morning
In the shadow I'll clip your wings
And I'll tell you I love you
In the heat of the morning
Oh yeah, all day, all the way
Ooh
7.Karma Man
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Fingertip sun at sideshow stalls, they throw the balls
At coconut fur that hides behind
Coloured shades that blind your eyes
Every child's mother holds an ice-cream cone, they circle round
Perceived unknown by an eye that peers from a hole in the tent
where no one goes
A figure sitting cross-legged on the floor
He's clogged and clothed in saffron robes
His beads are all he owns
Slow down, slow down
Someone must have said that slowed him down
Slow down, slow down
It's pictured on the arms of the Karma Man
Fairy tale skin, depicting scenes from human zoos
Impermanent toys like peace and war
A gentle face you've seen before
Karma Man tattooed on your side, the wheel of life
I see my times and who I've been
I only live now and I don't know why
I struggle hard to take these pictures in, but
All my friends can see is just the pinkness of his skin
Slow down, slow down
Someone must have said that slowed him down
Slow down, slow down
It's pictured on the arms of the Karma Man
Slow down, slow down
Someone must have said that slowed him down
Slow down, slow down
It's pictured on the arms of the Karma Man
8.Please Mr. Gravedigger
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
There's a little churchyard just along the way
It used to be Lambeth's finest array
Of tombstones, epitaphs, wreaths, flowers all that jazz
Til the war came along and someone dropped a bomb on the lot
And in this little yard, there's a little old man
With a little shovel in his little bitty hand
He seems to spend all his days puffing fags and digging graves
He hates the reverend vicar and he lives all alone in his home
'Ah-choo, excuse me'
Please Mr. Gravedigger, don't feel ashamed
As you dig little holes for the dead and the maimed
Please Mr. Gravedigger, I couldn't care
If you found a golden locket full of some girl's hair
And you put it in your pocket
'God, it's pouring down'
Her mother doesn't know about your sentimental joy
She thinks it's down below with the rest of her toys
And Ma wouldn't understand, so I won't tell
So keep your golden locket all safely hid away in your pocket
Yes, Mr. GD, you see me every day
Standing in the same spot by a certain grave
Mary-Ann was only 10, full of life and oh so gay
And I was the wicked man who took her life away
Very selfish, Oh God
No, Mr. GD, you won't tell
And just to make sure that you keep it to yourself
I've started digging holes myself
And this one here's for you
'Lifted our girl, she apparently doesn't know of it
Hello misses, thought she'd be a little girl
Bloody obscene, catch pneumonia or something in this rain'
9.The London Boys
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Cow bell strikes another night
Your eyes are heavy and your limbs all ache
You've bought some coffee, butter and bread
You can't make a thing cause the meter's dead
You moved away
Hold your folks you're gonna stay away
Bright lights, Soho, Wardour street
You hope you make friends with the guys that you meet
Somebody shows you round
Now you've met the London boys
Things seem good again, someone cares about you
Oh, the first time that you tried a pill
You feel a little queasy, decidedly ill
You're gonna be sick, but you mustn't lose faith
To let yourself down would be a big disgrace
With the London boys, with the London boys
You're only seventeen, but you think you've grown
In the month you've been away from your parents' home
You take the pills too much
You don't give a damn about that jobs you've got
So long as you're with the London boys
A London boy, oh a London boy
Your flashy clothes are your pride and joy
A London boy, a London boy
You're crying out loud that you're a London boy
You think you've had a lot of fun
But you ain't got nothing, you're on the run
It's too late now, cause you're out there boy
You've got it made with the rest of the toys
Now you wish you'd never left your home
You've got what you wanted but you're on your own
With the London boys
Now you've met the London boys (3 times)
10.She's Got Medals
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
She'd walk through the door and she'd set up the drinks on the
house
She played a good game of darts, and the men slapped her back
And never took her out
She wore a trenchcoat khaki
Her hobnail boots were full of holes
She's got medals
Her mother called her Mary, but she changed her name to Tommy,
she's a one, oh
She went and joined the army, passed the medical
Don't ask me how it's done
They sent her to the front line
Fighting for her country's name
She's got medals
She got very tired of picking up girls
Cleaning her gun and shaving her curls
Then the enemy dropped a bomb
Survivors there were none
People say that when the moon is full and all the stars have
gone to bed
You can see her ghost but that's a lie because the naughty woman
isn't dead
She deserted on the previous morning
Replaced her uniform with dresses silk and green
Called herself Eileen
Came to London town
Now she's settled down
She's got medals
11.Silly Boy Blue
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Mountains of Lhasa are feeling the rain
People are walking the Botella lanes
Preacher takes the school
One boy breaks a rule
Silly Boy Blue, silly Boy Blue
Yak butter statues that melt in the sun
Cannot dissolve all the work you've not done
A chela likes to feel
That his overself pays the bill
Silly Boy Blue, silly Boy Blue
You wish and wish, and wish again
You've tried so hard to fly
You'll never leave your body now
You've got to wait to die
La la la la la la la la la la (x2)
La la la la la (x2)
Silly Boy Blue, silly Boy Blue
Child of Tibet, you're a gift from the sun
Reincarnation of one better man
The homeward road is long
You've left your prayers and song
Silly Boy Blue, silly Boy Blue
Silly Boy Blue, silly Boy Blue.
12.Join The Gang
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Let me introduce you to the gang
Johnny plays the sitar, he's an existentialist
Once he had a name, now he plays our game
You won't feel so good now that you've joined the gang
Molly is the model in the ads
Crazy clothes and acid full of soul and crazy hip
Someone switched her on, then her beam went wrong
Cause she can't switch off now that she's joined the gang
Arthur is a singer with a band
Arthur drinks two bottles just before he goes on stage
Look at Arthur rave, all the kids are paid
They want to see the croaking man who joined the gang
You won't be alone, we've all got beery grins
It's a big illusion but at least you're in
At least you're in
This club's called The Webb, it's this month's pick
Next month we shall find a place where prices aren't so stiff
15 bob a coke, 'fraid that's past a joke
This is how to spend now that you've joined the gang
This is what to do now that you're here
Sit round doing nothing all together very fast
Psychedelic stars, throwing down cigars
They're picking up the joints now that they've joined the gang
13.Did You Ever Have A Dream
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Did you ever have a dream or two
Where the hero is a guy named you
And the things he does are just too much
Does he fly like Mr. Superman, speak Chinese, French and Dutch?
And did you ever have a dream or two?
Have you ever woken up one day
With the feeling that you'd been away?
If the girl that you dreamed of last night
Had the same dream, in the very same scene
With the very same boy, hold tight
It's a very special knowledge that you've got, my friend
You can travel anywhere with anyone you care
It's a very special knowledge that you've got, my friend
You can walk around in New York while you sleep in Penge
I will travel round the world one night
On the magic wings of astral flight
If you've got the secret, tell me do
Have you ever had a dream or two?
Have you ever had a dream or two?
14.The Gospel According To Tony Day
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
The Gospel according to Tony Day (x3)
If I find a girl he'll take her away
Rotten Tony!
The Gospel according to Brendan O'Lear (x3)
If I buy him a Scotch, he'll buy me a beer
Tight fist, friends
The Gospel according to Pat Hewitt (x3)
If it's written on a sweater then I'd better not do it
Ah
Got to, got to
Your mind, blow it
Blow it
The Gospel according to Marianne Brent (x3)
She'll be mine if I pay the rent
Good old Marianne, who needs friends, oh
That's the fucking time, take a look at my life and you'll see
Take a quick, butchers, rotten Mary down the oak
Wouldn't give me two pence for him
15.I'm Not Losing Sleep
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Yes, I've read the morning papers
Telling me that you've made money
Do you think I'm gonna crawl, then think again
Though I'm dressed in rags, I'm richer
Though I eat from tins, I'm healthier
Though I live in slums, I'm purer than you, my friend
Too bad, I'm not losing sleep
Look around and see the friends
The ones you left, our friends deserted
See the guys that used to talk and drink with you
Don't look down your nose at me
'Cause I won't ask your sympathy
I won't be your yes-sir man for anything
Too bad, I'm not losing sleep
I would walk with you
Talk with you, drink with you
If you drop that halo that you're wearing on the ground
Too bad, I'm not losing sleep
I can't get my satisfaction
Knowing you won't get reaction
What makes me the big attraction anyway
It's too bad, I'm not losing sleep
Too bad, I'm not losing sleep
Oh, it's too bad, I'm not losing sleep
16.I Dig Everything
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
I've got the village I love
I walk along beside the garbagemen and I dig everything
I wave to the policemen, but they don't wave back
They don't dig anything
Ain't had a job for a year or more and I don't know a thing
Everything's spent and I dig everything
Everything's spent and I dig everything
Dig
I feed the lions in Trafalgar Square and I dig everything
I've sit just behind my window, till my cigarettes were low and
dug
everything
Got a backstreet room in the bad part of town and I dig
everything
I'd see people in the street below, who don't know where they're
going
They don't dig anything
Everything's spent and I dig everything
Everything's spent and I dig everything
Dig
I've got more friends than I've had had dinners
Some of them were losers, but the rest of them are winners
Rick, John, Sally, a connection named Paul
Holy low on money, their intentions are tall
We smoke and talk in my room and we dig everything
Dig
I've made myself at home
I've made good friends which the time-check girl on the end of
the phone
All the movie shows
I sunbathe for love
Even when it's not too hot
'Cause I dig everything
Oh yeah
17.Can't Help Thinking About Me
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Question-time that says I brought dishonour
My head's bowed in shame
It seems that I've blackened the family name
Mother says that she can't stand the neighbours' talking
I've gotta pack my bags, leave this home, start walking, yeah
I'm guilty
I wish that I was sorry this time
I wish that I could pay for my crime
I can't help thinking about me
Remember when we used to go to church on Sundays
I lay awake at night, terrified of school on Mondays
Oh, but it's too late now
I wish I was a child again
I wish I felt secure again
I can't help thinking about me
As I pass a recreation ground
I remember my friends, always been found and I can't
I can't help thinking about me
Now I leave them all in the never-never land
The station seems so cold, the ticket's in my hand
My girl calls my name 'Hi Dave
Drop in, see you around, come back
If you're this way again'
Oh, I'm on my own
I've got a long way to go
I hope I make it on my own
I can't help thinking about me
18.Do Anything You Say
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Two by two, they go walking by
Hand in hand, they watch me cry
Lonely nights, I dream you're there
Morning sun and you're gone
Do anything you say, do anything
One desire I ask of you
Please be mine, please be mine
Thousand years and I'll return
You'll be mine, you'll be mine
Do anything you say, do anything
Two by two they're walking by
Hand in hand, they watch me cry
Do anything you say, do anything
Do anything you say, do anything you say
19.Good Morning Girl
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
But I can't pass this time of day
'Cause I'm on my way to rest my head
And I've lost the mind that I used to have
And I don't have a dime to spare
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
But I can't pass this time of day
So go tell the man that collects the dues
That you saw a guy without any shoes
Who would do the job if he was built that way
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
But I can't pass this time of day, no
I can't pass this time of day
'Cause I'm on my way to rest my head
And I've lost the mind that I used to have
I don't have a dime to spare
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
But I can't pass this time of day
So go tell the man that collects the dues
That you saw a guy without any shoes
Who would do the job if he was built that way
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
Hey, hey, good morning girl
But I can't pass this time of day, no
I can't pass this time of day
20.And I Say To Myself
Lyrics:David Bowie
Music:David Bowie
And I say to myself
I've got it wrong, wrong, wrong
She is a play-girl
She the wrong wrong girl for me
And I say to myself
You're a fool, fool, fool
She doesn't love you
She doesn't need you, this I know
She's got a trail of men that she takes
Wherever she goes
She hasn't the strength to love any single man for a length of
time
Ooh, I don't stand a chance
It's a long long romance
Well, she's out to slay
Well, she's got it made
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah
And I say to myself that she shouldn't love anybody else in the
world but me
And I say to myself
Forget her now, now, now
She don't want you
She don't love you anymore
And I say to myself you're a fool, fool, fool
She's don't love you
She don't need you, this I know
And I turn around and look at myself
You'll never get her, you're a fool
Say after me I'm a fool- I'm a fool
I can't get what I want
And it makes me sad
I can't get what I want
And it makes me mad
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah
And I say to myself that she shouldn't love anybody else in the
world but me,
yeah
Yeah
Oh, I feel so sad
She's making me mad
And I say to myself
That I love her
And I say to myself that I need her
Oh, I need her
And I say to myself I'm a fool
And I say to myself
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